Stockton, I am so proud of you.
I decided to take part in Stocktons protest yesterday, trust - it wasn't a hard decision.
06/03/2020
Before leaving my home, I grabbed a few things. My ID, phone, camera, some water, mask, and I kept circling around my room as if I was looking for more things to bring, just stalling. I made it downstairs where my mom and I begun to have a conversation about everything, and I continued to speak because again, stalling. Why was I stalling so much? Not because of fearing my city, not because of fear of the protest, but just knowing there is uncertainty that comes with it. As I walked out the front door of my home I told my mom I'd see her later, loved her, locked the door, and drove to location of the protest.
I drove past the location, overwhelmed with how many people were out there. I parked, gathered my stuff, and went. I suddenly felt a wave of emotions come over me by seeing different cultures come together for a single community. We marched together through the streets, didn't make it far as the police lined up to stop us from moving forward to another location. This moment of being next to police in riot gear, seeing their hands weld weapons and mine only held my camera. I felt my hands tremble, shaking, and just thinking of every last memory I had with my mother and siblings. Everything went silent. I remember them and thought would that be the last time? And as I said that in my head, I thought of all the black lives that thought that right before a knee to neck was put on them, right before unnecessary amounts of gunshots were fired at them, what were their last words and memories? And I thought fighting for them - it's worth my own last memories.
As peaceful protestors we turned around and walked back. Let me repeat that, we turned around and walked back. As we walked back to the beginning, we started walking another direction. We stopped a few times, for water breaks, to catch our breath in the heat of June, and then we stopped again to kneel, to sit, pray over and chant the names for those who have lost their lives, their loved ones to police brutality. I turned around and noticed the police start to walk towards us, why? To make us turn back around again, why? To make us feel threaten for peacefully walking our streets, why? Bringing out the helicopter to circle around us while we sat their praying over people, why? We were sitting and kneeling, we weren't moving at all. Let me repeat that, we were sitting and kneeling, we weren't moving at all. Our leaders, organizers, speakers, told us do not walk toward them and to go back. And so, we walked back to the park area.
Once back, there was speeches, prayers, poetry, a whole lot of love, so much love. At the end of this protest, so peaceful in a city that has a bad reputation. I found my tears. I shed tears throughout this entire experience. I fell to my knee a few times, putting my camera on the ground, because my heart just felt so heavy. I couldn't imagine how black lives must feel, if I feel this bad. I have been living for 27 years and I don't understand the world I'm growing up in, but I do know that it needs to change. Let's change it. It shouldn't have been over 400 years for this to happen. It shouldn't take a globe for this to change, but I am happy that the world is seeing something, doing something.
And while you're reading this far - please watch more things than those on the news or your favorite Facebook page, dig deep - don't just touch the surface. It is okay to have a change of perspective, we grow up for a reason, to have our own opinions and to educate ourselves on what our parents or ancestors couldn't or won't. Media is scary, but - go to a protest, go to one outside your hometown, experience it and not just in the morning, but at night too and perhaps you will understand a little better.
Every single right I was given was fought for me in both peaceful and violent ways, and so here I am. I will use my voice, my body, my passion, my privilege to fight for the unheard.
When you think you've done enough, don't stop because quite frankly - you haven't.
Here are SOME (there’s a lot I have, will add more!) very useful links, petitions, and people to follow:
https://blacklivesmatter.com
https://justiceforbreonna.org
Document full of links/information: https://tinyurl.com/dosmthgblm
The public has a right to see law enforcement misconduct records: https://t.co/iO00F4gVCQ
Defund the police: https://actionnetwork.org/forms/2005_email_blm_defund
Black and POC women photographers to follow: https://twitter.com/womenphotograph/status/1267105569799835649
https://www.instagram.com/colorofchange/
https://www.instagram.com/blklivesmatter/
https://www.instagram.com/reclaimtheblock/
https://www.instagram.com/thedreamdefenders/?hl=en
https://www.instagram.com/changethenypd/
https://www.instagram.com/stuntmanmike666/
https://www.instagram.com/blmsacramento/
https://www.instagram.com/209forblm/
