Stockton, Ca - Black Lives Matter

Stockton, I am so proud of you.

I decided to take part in Stocktons protest yesterday, trust - it wasn't a hard decision. 

06/03/2020

Before leaving my home, I grabbed a few things. My ID, phone, camera, some water, mask, and I kept circling around my room as if I was looking for more things to bring, just stalling. I made it downstairs where my mom and I begun to have a conversation about everything, and I continued to speak because again, stalling. Why was I stalling so much? Not because of fearing my city, not because of fear of the protest, but just knowing there is uncertainty that comes with it. As I walked out the front door of my home I told my mom I'd see her later, loved her, locked the door, and drove to location of the protest.

I drove past the location, overwhelmed with how many people were out there. I parked, gathered my stuff, and went. I suddenly felt a wave of emotions come over me by seeing different cultures come together for a single community. We marched together through the streets, didn't make it far as the police lined up to stop us from moving forward to another location. This moment of being next to police in riot gear, seeing their hands weld weapons and mine only held my camera. I felt my hands tremble, shaking, and just thinking of every last memory I had with my mother and siblings. Everything went silent. I remember them and thought would that be the last time? And as I said that in my head, I thought of all the black lives that thought that right before a knee to neck was put on them, right before unnecessary amounts of gunshots were fired at them, what were their last words and memories? And I thought fighting for them - it's worth my own last memories. 

As peaceful protestors we turned around and walked back. Let me repeat that, we turned around and walked back. As we walked back to the beginning, we started walking another direction. We stopped a few times, for water breaks, to catch our breath in the heat of June, and then we stopped again to kneel, to sit, pray over and chant the names for those who have lost their lives, their loved ones to police brutality. I turned around and noticed the police start to walk towards us, why? To make us turn back around again, why? To make us feel threaten for peacefully walking our streets, why? Bringing out the helicopter to circle around us while we sat their praying over people, why? We were sitting and kneeling, we weren't moving at all. Let me repeat that, we were sitting and kneeling, we weren't moving at all. Our leaders, organizers, speakers, told us do not walk toward them and to go back. And so, we walked back to the park area.

Once back, there was speeches, prayers, poetry, a whole lot of love, so much love. At the end of this protest, so peaceful in a city that has a bad reputation. I found my tears. I shed tears throughout this entire experience. I fell to my knee a few times, putting my camera on the ground, because my heart just felt so heavy. I couldn't imagine how black lives must feel, if I feel this bad. I have been living for 27 years and I don't understand the world I'm growing up in, but I do know that it needs to change. Let's change it. It shouldn't have been over 400 years for this to happen. It shouldn't take a globe for this to change, but I am happy that the world is seeing something, doing something. 

And while you're reading this far - please watch more things than those on the news or your favorite Facebook page, dig deep - don't just touch the surface. It is okay to have a change of perspective, we grow up for a reason, to have our own opinions and to educate ourselves on what our parents or ancestors couldn't or won't. Media is scary, but - go to a protest, go to one outside your hometown, experience it and not just in the morning, but at night too and perhaps you will understand a little better.

Every single right I was given was fought for me in both peaceful and violent ways, and so here I am. I will use my voice, my body, my passion, my privilege to fight for the unheard. 

When you think you've done enough, don't stop because quite frankly - you haven't.

Here are SOME (there’s a lot I have, will add more!) very useful links, petitions, and people to follow:

https://blacklivesmatter.com

https://justiceforbreonna.org

Document full of links/information: https://tinyurl.com/dosmthgblm

The public has a right to see law enforcement misconduct records: https://t.co/iO00F4gVCQ

Defund the police: https://actionnetwork.org/forms/2005_email_blm_defund

Black and POC women photographers to follow: https://twitter.com/womenphotograph/status/1267105569799835649

https://www.instagram.com/colorofchange/

https://www.instagram.com/blklivesmatter/

https://www.instagram.com/reclaimtheblock/

https://www.instagram.com/thedreamdefenders/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/changethenypd/

https://www.instagram.com/stuntmanmike666/

https://www.instagram.com/blmsacramento/

https://www.instagram.com/209forblm/

Feature Friday - Violet's first birthday

Waverly & Anthony came to me over a year ago with a baby bump asking for sweet photographs of their family, and now we’re here we are again celebrating their 1 year old, Violet! ! am so lucky to have been able to capture these moments for them and their families.

Some cool things about that day was they had a theme that was SO cute, it was a halloween style theme with bats, watermelon for pumpkins, and spider webbed decor cakes. On tables they had “time capsule” cards where the guests attending could write Violet a message or prediction for her to read when she turns 18. Such a great and heartfelt idea! Violet went from guest to guest, taking photos and getting all the kisses as they come. Once it was time for the cake, Violet dove right in and was not hesitate at all!

I wish nothing but the best for Waverly, Anthony, & Violet!

Feature Friday - Real Moments In Event Photography (Baptisms)

Let’s take a break from all these lovebirds and talk about the real rawness of event photography. I have photographed many couples, young to old and seen many different types of connections. In my last blog I went over how showing affection is different for everyone and when you as a photographer is faced with different ways that people show or view love, you can’t blame them for that. For “missing” photos, that isn’t a thing, that’s your job. Anyway before I go off into a huge rant again - events have easily become photographs that I connect with on somewhat the same level as couples photography.

Unlike couples, events like funerals, baptisms, birthdays, etc show connections between many people not just two. The baptism I photographed show two families joining together to welcome a new member into their community. In celebration for this baby boy to be a new addition and new representation for them of faith and Christianity. During the baptism, I was thinking, “wow I get to witness this scared ceremony”, I never thought of it that way until that day. I’m not sure why, I think due to seeing everyone interactions with each other, with the priest, with the baby boy, really hit me and made me realize these are the real raw moments I love too.

As I am not religious, I do always get sudden chills when people talk about their connections with their beliefs, either that be Christianity, Spirituality, etc. I ‘m always excited and eager to learn about peoples experiences as long as I am not judged for my own. Why? Because people have different insights and experiences and I bet they love talking about it, because when you finally find that connection with whatever belief it may be, you want to share it with the world. There’s no harm in sharing.

(Just remember preaching and sharing are two separate things!)

Enjoy the baptism and cuteness overload of this special boy!

Feature Friday - Cat & Kevin

Let me start off by saying this is one of my favorite sessions because it involves a shower!

Cat & Kevin are honestly goofballs, they laugh and enjoy each others company even if it means sipping coffee and staring out the window. Even by just spending a few hours with them I could see they compliment each other so well. I went in their apartment (which was SUPER CUTE by the way) and was welcomed by their kittys! Then we discussed some options and areas to take photographs in-home, they went from the couch, kitchen, their bedroom where they got both cozy and frisky and all of a sudden I glanced at their bathroom and was all “Shower?!”, and OH my god, how steamy, how hot!!!

Okay, but in all seriousness, they were super precious and their willingness is applauded. However, every couple is different. If your couple does like to show affection, awesome. If they don’t, there’s other ways to show this in photographs. If your couple is “awkward”, don’t blame them for not “getting the shot.” Awkward can be just as precious as any other word that describes beautiful.

It will never be your couples fault for shots you can or can not get. Your are the photographer, they are humans and humans show love differently. Remember that!

Feature Friday - Elisa & Morgan

There are so many couples that I have featured, I’m sure I’ve lost count!

A while ago Elisa & Morgan spent the morning with me and I had my camera on hand, so why not take their photographs? Unexpectedly they agreed and I hope they had fun!

I met Elisa through my photo program and has easily become an inspiration to me. She inspires me to become a better person in terms of helping people and actually caring about other creative artists. We are all competition but we all deserve the respect from one other and help each other.

Aside from our relationship, Elisa and Morgans is super cute. Through the constant reassurance they both give each other to understanding what they both bring into their relationship, it truly shows what a supportive relationship should be all about. I can tell they truly share the same love they have for another.

Feature Friday - Rose & Gil

When Rose and Gil contacted me, they only wanted a few photos to print out, however I let them know they deserve to have way more than “a few photos.”

I deeply feel that just because your clients are looking for something small and specific doesn’t mean they deserve less than your higher ticketed client. More so, when photographing elopements the couple deserve more than just a few hours. Their special day of celebrating love deserves more than just a few photos within a few hours, they deserve to have multiple hours in the perfect location. They deserve the equal amount of effort.

Back to Rose & Gil, they explained how they were having a traditional cultural wedding which consists of a lot of time and days. They wanted to take photographs to show during their ceremonies which I thought was completely awesome. When I met them they both were dressed very classy, Rose was wearing her wedding dress. It had a beautiful design that had trailed beads all over the dress. Gil was dressed in a maroon jacket and beige cream pants, along with his sunglasses that were so hard to get rid of! He loved his sunglasses and i let him be comfortable in them in some photographs.

They had a playful and beautiful connection as they wanted to pose and be close to one another. In the end we did take a few photos that were fun and had them laughing! i had a great time being a third wheel with Rose & Gil!

Feature Monday? - Nichole & Denise

I haven’t made a Feature Friday post in a while, so here’s a Feature Monday! The priorities of school, work, and daily life has taken over my soul. I mean not as dramatic as I make it seem, but balancing life isn’t the easiest! I know we all struggle with that. Time, what a freaking concept.

Nichole & Denise are two gorgeous humans who trusted me for their special day that took place in Lodi, Ca. Denise had a beautiful wedding dress, matched a headpiece that she HAD to have. Check it out for yourself, I absolutely loved it! Nichole was dapper as ever, with a white button down, blue slacks, and simple yet classy brown Oxford shoes. Together they complemented each other so well!

During their ceremony, which took place at Lodi Lake in a tucked away woodsy tunnel, their guests shared laughs and cries, especially during their vows. They all gathered together to share a toast creating a bond between the newlyweds, their son, and wonderful friends. As I learned that the two had known each other for over 15 years touched every bone in my body. They are truly an inspiring young couple, and I’m glad I had the chance to be part of their story!

On a side note: The idea of having a camera pointed at you can be intimidating and sometimes even a little weird. Thank you for that ultimate trust you don’t want to give someone you meet right away. Hey it’s hard to give, but you do it. A big one is trusting me to pull you out of your comfort zone, allowing me to be myself, so you can be yourself. In the end trust has a beautiful outcome. I see how it reflects on our photos we make together. As I look back at those photos I hope they also leave you with “wow moments,” as they do for me.

Feature Friday - The Grays

I absolutely love to take couples and capturing all their genuine emotions, but oh man when I get a family that is bursting with love and laughter, I HAVE to feature it.

FIRST FEATURE OF 2019!!!!!!

The Grays contacted me wanting a special session due to a few of them living out of town, and out of the country so we picked a date and time and made it happen! When I arrived at the location, University of the Pacific in Stockton, CA, I met the entire group! They instantly were welcoming with smiles and they were definitely not camera shy. From Dads jokes to the brothers being brothers, and Moms comments about how her sons mean the world to her, this party of 8 summed up the meaning of love, laughter, and family.

Family is important to me, so I’ll forever be honored that I had the chance to capture the Grays and give them something to kick off the New Year with!

J

Feature Friday - Trina & David

Holy crap, Trina and David.

They were so welcoming and ready to try everything I yelled at them, it was SO CUTE watching these two! Now of course they were looking for somewhere outdoor and what better place other than Army Corps park in Ripon? With all the leaves falling, oranges, reds, earthy tones, I could go on and on - but let’s just say, we all loved it.

I know it’s super cliche to say a photo is worth a thousand words, but come on look at these two. In every single frame you can’t possibly think of ONE word to describe how these two make you feel. BUT they are totally adorable humans who are SO IN LOVE.

You guys rock.

Feature Friday - Waverly & Anthony

YES - it’s a bump!

Waverly and Anthony were expecting their first little person and I was so happy they asked me to do a maternity session for them!

We went to Army Corps park in Ripon, CA where the grass was tall and the sun was setting. Waverly and Anthony were completely affectionate and their love radiated through the entire session. All of their arms and hands intertwined with each other, ah! Another thing I absolutely loved was all the warm tones giving it the feeling of welcoming, home-like, and comforting. Some of the things that come with bringing a new baby into the world! Violet is now 7 months old and she is SO ADORABLE.

You can follow Waverlys blog all about being a mommy here!

Feature Friday - Brandon & Sarah

I have entirely so much to say about Brandon and Sarah, but I'll try to contain myself!

I have known Brandon for roughly 10 years, and I had the chance to photographer his and Sarahs wedding 4 years ago. Now, here we are again!

So, how’s the married life??

Well, when in their home I felt all the love radiating, not to mention the way they parent was amazing and inspiring. It is so important to understand each other when parenting. When I watched them interact it was like watching a perfectly managed football game. I don’t mean discipline either, because Sass was incredibly well behaved and WAY smart! Aside from their parenting, this family was so damn cute, I couldn’t even. The photographs speak for themselves.

Our sessions consisted of outside with the crispy cold air, and inside their homes being all comfy and cozy with their cute bear family mugs (now an expectation if I ever start a family!) Oh! They also played a game of Twister until their twin cats decided they want to join in. To say the least, it got just a little crazy!

I can’t wait to see if any future sessions pop up these this family.

Feature Fridays - Sheri & Fabian

Sheri and Fabian have been married about 26 years, how crazy to think that’s almost my existence! They wanted to take cute wedding styled photographs to remember their wedding day and to have moments they didn’t get to have when they got married. In Locke, CA we found ourselves doing just what they wanted.

Sheri worn a white short wedding dress, complemented with a veil and spring flowers. While Fabian worn a white button up, matched with khaki pants, complemented with his favorite hat. They changed outfits and complemented each other so well, both in blue, whites, with jeans! Sheri even threw on Fabians black hat, which was too cute!

The laughs, jokes, and genunine love was truly inspiring. It was a session to remember!

Feature Friday - Lesa & Val

Lesa and Val got married at the Paradise Springs in Oakhurst and their day was nothing less than amazing! The bridesmaids got ready in a cute cozy cabin and wore their best periwinkle dress matched with their pure white bouquets. While the groomsmen were dressed in grey suits pinned with matching white flowers and a cigar in their pockets!

Their ceremony started as the sun was setting peaking through the trees, and I thought it was SO cool how they shared a toast (of beer!) as a special bond. After they chugged their glass of beer, they finally kissed and sealed the deal.

During the reception and after, guests enjoyed themselves, dancing, eating, and laughing the night away! Oh also, I’m pretty sure that Budlight should have sponsored their wedding!

Feature Friday - Billy & Dawn

Dawn and Billy got married at in Stockton, CA at the  Gun and Bocce Club. Their day was full of absolute cuteness overload! The bridesmaids got ready in Lodi, CA at Wine and Roses where they dressed in bold maroon dresses. The maroon matched perfectly with their off white bouquets. The groomsmen were dressed in grey suits and of course, they matched maroon undershirts pinned a boutonniere of white flowers.

Their ceremony started around noon, and as the sun was peaking through all the trees. The bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way down the cutest aisle. Baby breath flowers outlined the aisle straight to the spot where Dawn and Billy finally said, "I DO!"

During the reception, Billy and Dawn shared their dance where they had money rain in their pockets, and eventually invited everyone else on the floor. It was truly a night to remember while everyone enjoyed themselves with AMAZING food, crazy dancing, and contagious laughter!

A special side note on the entire day - Dawns mother was remembered on a charm hanging from her bouquet. In addition to that, during the reception they had a beautiful memorial of photographs on display of her mother.

Feature Friday - Jess & Erin

Waking up at 6am on a Sunday morning, was actually extremely worth every second. Jess surprised Erin with one of my sessions, how awesome is that?!

First when we discussed the location of their session, Jess mentioned she wanted endless fields of sunflowers. Then, we totally went for something opposite. We went to Folsom and went under the rainbow bridge (no not the Super Mario Kart road 😂). With nature in play, how could it go wrong? There were beautiful yellows, reds, oranges, and the lake beaming as the sun was rising. Of course, Jess and Erin the entire time kept laughing, smiling, and even a little dancing (“dancing” lol), but all of that literally made the session amazing.

THEY were TOO CUTE.

Feature Fridays?

I haven’t used this blog portion since July 6th, wow. I should!

So, I’m definitely going to figure out what to do with this blog area. I’m either going to feature a session every Friday or maybe give insight on certain photography topics/software/techniques/etc. Totally not sure yet!

I’m thinking the idea of “feature Fridays” would be really interesting, especially since my clients are SO different than one another and they all bring something different to every session.

S0, (jeez, I say “so” too much) - my FIRST EVER feature Friday will be this Friday!

First Things First

This is the first blog post, not saying my first of all time, but a first for this website. This also signifies the first goal in blogging I set for myself and to stay committed to. However, if no one reads these blog entries except for myself, that's okay. Blogging is much like keeping a dairy or even writing a song, which I am both familiar with.

Every session I have has a story to tell. It could be motivating or just plan fun and needs to be told. I am sure that people enjoy reading about how someone has a special day that turn into wonderful memories. Why wouldn't anyone be happy reading about other peoples happiness? Now, behind the many sessions I have there lies myself, the photographer.

First things first, what story could I possibly have?

I don't believe that many people know that I have been holding a camera since I could remember. I always had my camera pointed up my families noses, mostly because I was short and small! Throughout the years I lost that urge to photograph. Middle school came and I was more interested in video games and friends. Then high school rolled around and I suddenly begin to use a camera again, with the help of my photography teacher and other art teachers, I gained experience and more techniques that I am so grateful for despite how judgmental it made me! Every year I was in a photo course and my last year I was the teachers pe- lab aide! Jokes aside, those teachers I had really shaped my artistic eye. Now here is where I lost my sense of direction, college. In college, I decided I wanted to major in film editing (I love video as well!), that quickly changed when I made the decision to attend a community college. I wanted to major in graphic design, and let me tell you changing majors is no fun especially when you have taken every single course already in that major, but I changed it again. This time it was photography and I stuck with every step of the way. I had over 90 units due to switching majors, but like I said I stuck with it until the end. Again, the professor I had for photography really shaped me even landed me a few gigs working with the college in the Drama, Dance, and Athletics department. She eventually helped me land a job in the photo department, where I really got the abilities to work with students and help them, when in reality they were really helping me. Then I finally graduated with an AA, transferring to CSUS with of course a major in photography. Enough of school talk!

Now for jobs that I had had a lot to deal with arts. I had jobs such as graphic designer (when I decided no way I want to be this!), sports photographer for two difference companies, after school program teacher (you can bet I taught them art), college lab aide, and preschool teacher aide (again art of course, with some science!) I have taken situations into my own hands photographing events (Pride in Stockton for Stocktons' instagram page) and live music (The Maine, Chase Coy, We are the in Crowd, etc). These all helped in one way or another to build my character and my professionalism.

With starting your own business it gets hard, really rough, but it's nothing to fuss over. In time, you find networking and even marketing strategies that truly help. It's like having child, one second you're hugging and kissing them and then the next you're wanting to rip every single piece of hair out! Just watching your baby flourish and grow is amazing, so here's to more blog posts to come about the many adventures of my lovely cilents and myself!